Wednesday, April 10, 2013



Flip of the Coin
We think of the man who stepped on the butterfly and elected Hitler
as a cautionary tale,
but what if that butterfly fixed our economy?
He’d be a God-damned hero.

Person Watcher
Sometimes I find ‘People Watchers’ indecisive as a whole.
This however may be their saving grace,
Because ‘Person Watching’ is illegal.

English Major
My professor once said: “you do not become an English Major because you like to read.”
Perhaps he was right, but from someone who does not particularly enjoy reading,
I imagine it certainly helps.

There are times when people will
Get the urge to shock themselves into new experiences.
Extroverts will do something crazy.
Introverts will go outside.

Who Nu?
So I found these healthy Oreos.
They’re still bad for you.

Selling a poem is much like selling a piece of yourself,
Only nobody will pay for it,
And it is highly legal.

True Fear
When asked what one fears most, I feel we rarely betray ourselves.
For Instance when asked, I might say Responsibility;
When what I really mean is Spider-Baths.

There is absolutely no way in the world.
To go up stairs.
And not look like an idiot.

Just Stop
If jogging in place did anything,
It wouldn't be necessary to leave your house.

Yahoo Comments
If I had a dollar for every sly attempt at humor at the expense of politicians I read on a
Yahoo News comment board,
I would still owe exorbitant student loans.

Cheetos are the most sadistic of snacks.
They shame you with the mark of orange cheese fingers,
Smugly knowing that you will be back for more.

Christmas Miracles
So the legend goes that one Christmas a poor family was not able to afford to decorate their tree, so God creating a miracle, had spiders spin brilliant silver webs among the branches.
It was certainly a nice gesture, but perhaps it was also a warning as to what might happen,
If you fail to decorate your house.

An Endless Moment's Failure At Living
I'm the kind of person who sets their alarm to the wrong am or pm,
Rushes out of the house,
and in a huff,
arrives only to realize,
that I'm 10 minutes early.
When I am actually 30 minutes late.

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