Ironicas

Ironicas

Flip of the Coin

We think of the man who stepped on the butterfly and elected Hitler

as a cautionary tale,

but what if that butterfly fixed our economy?

He’d be a God-damned hero.

Person Watcher

Sometimes I find ‘People Watchers’ indecisive as a whole.

This however may be their saving grace,

Because ‘Person Watching’ is illegal.

English Major

My professor once said: “you do not become an English Major because you like to read.”

Perhaps he was right, but from someone who does not particularly enjoy reading,

I imagine it certainly helps.

Perspective

There are times when people will

Get the urge to shock themselves into new experiences.

Extroverts will do something crazy.

Introverts will go outside.

Who Nu?

So I found these healthy Oreos.

They’re still bad for you.

Poemstiution

Selling a poem is much like selling a piece of yourself,

Only nobody will pay for it,

And it is highly legal.

True Fear

When asked what one fears most, I feel we rarely betray ourselves.

For Instance when asked, I might say Responsibility;

When what I really mean is Spider-Baths.

Stairs

There is absolutely no way in the world.

To go up stairs.

And not look like an idiot.

Just Stop

If jogging in place did anything,

It wouldn't be necessary to leave your house.

Yahoo Comments

If I had a dollar for every sly attempt at humor at the expense of politicians I read on a

Yahoo News comment board,

I would still owe exorbitant student loans.

Cheetos

Cheetos are the most sadistic of snacks.

They shame you with the mark of orange cheese fingers,

Smugly knowing that you will be back for more.

Christmas Miracles

So the legend goes that one Christmas a poor family was not able to afford to decorate their tree, so God creating a miracle, had spiders spin brilliant silver webs among the branches.

It was certainly a nice gesture, but perhaps it was also a warning as to what might happen,

If you fail to decorate your house.

An Endless Moment's Failure At Living

I'm the kind of person who sets their alarm to the wrong am or pm,

Rushes out of the house,

and in a huff,

arrives only to realize,

that I'm 10 minutes early.

When I am actually 30 minutes late.